Better News

Some better news at last.  I visit Julie, taking some food to stock up her freezer.  I’m not expecting much, but she offers me a cup of tea and we have a very nice chat.  Its the sort of chat I have been yearning to have with my daughter for months.  It is quite definitely not a deep connection sort of chat – I’ve had quite enough serious conversations about her state of mind to last me a lifetime.  No, it’s just one of those idle, “how is so-and-so these days” type of conversations.   I ask her how she’s getting on with some new furniture and we have a laugh about asking her dad to put up more shelves.  

On the spur of the moment, I decide to push my luck, and I propose a bit of a walk round the neighbourhood.  Julie moved into this new flat a few months ago, but she hardly knows her surroundings because she had to go into hospital almost immediately.  We wander off round the maze of streets, pointing out parks, or nice buildings.  Again, it’s not a major walk – it’s a wander – and it’s a cold January day – but it’s wonderful.

For the first time in months, we have a completely ordinary afternoon.  I haven’t seen Julie for a few days, and she is able to tell me what she has been doing: there are no gaps that she can’t account for, or experiences so bleak that she doesn’t want to tell me.   There are no long silences, and she walks confidently without becoming tired. For the first time in a very long time, our conversation does not revolve around hospitals, medication or ill health of any sort.  We share a couple of laughs, and she tells me she is feeling happy about moving to this new neighbourhood.

She is feeling happy.