Jumping Out of the Plane

This is the third weekend since Julie returned to hospital, and the first time we have tried an overnight stay at home.

It is a process fraught with difficulty.  What you might imagine was the easiest thing in the world - spending a night in your own bed - is very hard for Julie in this state.  She approaches it with the trepidation that most of us would reserve for sky-diving.  Right up until the very last minute - putting on her pyjamas - she keeps open the option of going back to the hospital, just as most of us would reserve the option not to jump out of the plane.  But I'm glad to be able to report that she did jump and is fast asleep at this minute - the hospital tells me she will probably stay fast asleep until tomorrow morning.  If she was not sleeping so well, I don't think it would be possible at all.  She looks very sweet, tucked up in her cotton pyjamas, hugging her pillow.

It has been quite a busy day for Julie.  Last weekend, when we had day visits, was perhaps too quiet.  The simple activities that had been fine over the winter at home - watching TV, knitting, listening to music - left her only agitated and distressed.  With this latest stay in hospital, I've begun to appreciate quite how difficult Julie finds the switch from hospital to home (and perhaps back again).  The longer she spends in hospital, the harder it seems to find a way of being at home.  Of course she is having to cope with changes to her medication, and when in hospital she is under permanent one-to-one supervision, so perhaps it is not too surprising that she is particularly fragile and confused at the moment.

Bearing in mind the need to try something a little bit different, I had tickets to the theatre this afternoon - a fast, upbeat production of the musical Footloose.  I think Julie quite enjoyed it - it was obvious that she was finding it quite hard to enjoy anything, but we got to the end without her diving for the exit, so I don't think she was too unhappy.  To get to the end of something in one piece, and still have the energy for the walk back to the car afterwards, is all I ask for these days.  (For the record, I thought it was amazing, especially as the entire cast and crew were students.  I loved it, and I can say that as someone who never rated eighties music and is not fond of musicals.  The sheer energy of the production was infectious.)

Once home, after dinner, Julie suddenly got upset and cried a lot - not for any specific reason, as far as I could see.  For a while, it did look as if the overnight stay hung in the balance. Poor Joe, who is always dismayed by weeping females, found it all very difficult, but we weathered it, with some (phone) support from the hospital.  It is amazing how the simplest things can help - often the very things that you forget in the middle of a crisis.  Out came the pack of cards, Julie remembered a new game she had just learnt in the hospital, and half an hour later we were all enthusiastically cheating and the mood had lifted right out of crisis mode.  A few more ideas, and a cup of hot chocolate later, and suddenly it was time for pyjamas and bed.