Phew: Half Way Across the Channel!

Julie is now just over half way through her first week back at school. Like any swimmer of the English Channel she is exhausted, not sure she will finish, but a tiny bit elated to have got so far. Thanks to everyone who has been in touch with messages of support. I was holding off posting up her progress because I thought, superstitiously, that might make it all go wrong!

I can't put into words the pride I feel in her. She has managed two full days back in a classroom environment, something she has not succeeded in doing in the last eighteen months. If you consider that she is continuously having to do battle with voices telling her that she is worthless and that what she is doing is wrong, you are just beginning to grasp how remarkable it is. She also finds the classes incredibly noisy - she is very sensitive to noise. She has elected to repeat a year, which is good academically but means that she doesn't have the support of familiar friends around her. When she starts making new friends, she can hardly explain that she is currently living in hospital instead of at home. Even with the repeated year, she has still missed out on some lessons and is having to catch up, so some classes, like Spanish, are very hard. Just to add to that, the olanazapine has added a bit to her weight, and we have had no time to shop for a new pair of trousers for her, so she is wearing a pair that are too tight and way too short! Oh yes, and for good measure, the hospital is so far away from school that she has to get up incredibly early to make the journey. Now show me a teenage girl who would still come up fighting under all these pressures.

I am hoping to see her tomorrow. Unfortunately I have been ill myself for a while so have not been able to drive out and see her - I have been sending my love and support down the phone. I keep reminding her that if she doesn't manage every day at school, it will still be a victory: she must not feel that she has failed if she needs time to rest and regroup. Tomorrow we will see if she can make it home after school for a little visit: if she can keep awake, that is!