A Masterclass in Relaxation

As soon as half term began, Julie and I set off for our "spa day".  We are not too distant from one of the Centerparcs sites, which boasts a state of the art sauna suite: steam rooms of various temperatures, several styles of sauna, a heated outdoor jacuzzi pool, and even a meditation room.  For a rather modest sum they will let you visit the spa for half a day.  It was Julie's first experience of anything like a sauna, and she embraced it enthusiastically.  We visited each of the rooms in turn, and then returned - several times - to her favourites.  There was a rather good cafe on site, and we took a break from our exhausting schedule, to enjoy an afternoon tea (still in our towelling robes), before returning to the fray.

It was deeply and powerfully relaxing.  I had prepared myself carefully in case of disappointment.  I knew that Julie might find the heat overpowering, or be too embarrassed to display the scars on her legs and arms.  We had discussed her scars beforehand, and I was very relieved to find that she was not particularly self-conscious about them.  Once I had reassured her that nobody else would bother to look at them, she seemed to think no more about it.  We even had our feet and ankles nibbled very publically by a tankful of fish - and attracted quite a crowd of onlookers as we giggled and gurned at the sensation - and I don't think anyone actually noticed her scars, still less drew attention to them.  I had also wondered how she would feel about the rest of her body now she has joined the ranks of "traditionally-built ladies" (thanks to the Olanzapine).  But I need not have worried - Centerparcs spas are positively bursting at the seams with ladies of traditional build, and beside them the few sylph-like young girls just looked, frankly, weedy.

To my way of thinking - perhaps naively - it is exactly this sort of experience that Julie needs now.  She needs very positive physical experiences that celebrate her body. She needs to feel that her skin and her flesh are a source of pleasure and happiness.  It is a bonus if she can also gain the confidence of exposing some of the scars without adverse comment.

I have always loved the sense of deep muscle relaxation given by saunas and steam rooms.  It was a huge treat for me to be able to induct my daughter into the little rituals and pleasures of the spa.  As Julie was the first to point out, it was a milestone in many ways: the first time in so long that we have been able to plan something together and carry it through.  She had looked forward to it, and for once the anticipation had acted in a positive way, encouraging her to avoid self-harm because she knew she could not go if she had open cuts.  I have been wary of anything that risked pressurising her, having had so many experiences in the past where this had pushed her over the edge, but it worked on this occasion.  Even better, to my surprise, instead of the crash that usually follows most of her good moods, Julie has remained in a fairly even-tempered and cheerful mood all week.